God-Given Desires…He Doesn’t Fulfill

It’s interesting to stop and think about desires that have been given by God, and yet also to realize that just because a desire may be from God, there is no assurance that God will fulfill that desire.

In my life, the desire to be married has been strong for four years. Even when I was a little girl, I wanted to grow up to be a wife and a mommy. My perfect scenario would have been graduating from college, getting married, and starting a family right away. But, like so many other things, God had other plans for me. My desire for marriage only intensified when Carrie’s life followed my perfect scenario. She was in a serious relationship less than a year after we graduated from highschool and was married shortly after that.

From many sources, I knew that the desire for marriage was a godly desire. Scripture speaks of the blessing marriage is. Yet, as the months and years passed, it became harder and harder to wait patiently for God’s timing. The difficulty was not primarily that I wanted to be married . . . but that God hadn’t promised me that I would get married.

A desire that has no promise of fulfillment is very difficult to live with. On the days when I longed to be married, the deep (almost painful) ache of desire stemmed primarily from the knowledge that I had a godly desire . . . that might never come to fruition. It was certainly feasible that I would be single my entire life, always desiring marriage but never seeing the fulfillment of that desire. I knew that would be ok; God had a plan. But it’s hard to long for something . . . and at the same time to acknowledge that God may have other plans.

I rather think everyone goes through at least one season in life like this (probably more than one) . . . a time when you long for something but must come face to face with submitting to God’s will even when it means facing life without fulfillment of a desire.

The question is why does God give such desires that he doesn’t fulfill? I believe we can’t truly know the mind of God, but at the same time there are many lessons to be learned from desires such as these. God has a plan and a purpose; he knows what he is doing.

This post is linked to Our Simple Country Life and Growing Home.

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4 Responses to God-Given Desires…He Doesn’t Fulfill

  1. Miranda says:

    So honest, Melinda. I think God is always teaching us something and not getting what one desires definitely teaches us patience! I got married right out of high school. My desire was not to get pregnant right away, yet 10 months later I became a mom. I’m so thankful for my daughter now but it wasn’t always easy to be grateful.

  2. bekahcubed says:

    I definitely identify with the difficulty of desiring something God hasn’t promised to give. In fact, it has often been a frustration to me when well-intentioned people have attempted to reassure me with words like: “Don’t worry, God has the perfect man out there for you.”

    Beyond the obvious problems with the idea of a perfect man, I felt that was a dangerous statement. I don’t want to place my hope in something that is shaky–and belief that there’s a perfect man out there for me is decidedly shaky ground. God never promised me a husband. If I place my hope in that false promise, I set myself up for failure. But if I place my hope in a God who promises to be my husband (as I belong to His bride, the church), I will never be disappointed, whether married or single in this life.

    God definitely does know what He’s doing–even if all He’s doing is working patience.
    “My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.” ~James 1:2-4

  3. Beautifully written. I could always feel your longing in your previous posts.
    This probably isn’t the right way to be about things, but I tend to prepare for the worst. For whatever reason, that is my coping mechanism. So growing up I never thought I’d be married at all. I never thought about having children. Whenever I’ve been pregnant, I don’t even get excited about it. Because a live baby is no guarantee. Isn’t that terrible? So I live life in such a way that I’m always pleasantly surprised. Which for whatever reason is an easier way for me to be. I guess I’m terribly afraid of disappointment.

  4. Gen says:

    Even though waiting can be trying, God is always perfect in His timing! Please don’t become discouraged or disappointed…that is certainly Satan’s ploy. While you wait, focus on preparing yourself to be the Godly woman by which a future husband would be blessed. God knows your heart, and I am sure He will wanting you to connect to the Right Man!

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