Anyone who has been married longer than the honeymoon period, knows that it takes conscious effort and work to keep a marriage alive and well. When I saw Connie’s topic I knew that I would benefit from being reminded of what it takes to make a marriage work.
Love is not an emotion. In order for a marriage to last a lifetime, you have to be committed to it. You need to choose to love your husband. Even when the lovey-dovey emotions aren’t there, you need to be committed.
When marriage is difficult, giving up is not an option. Typically when someone mentions giving up on a marriage, divorce is the first thing that pops into mind. However, you can give up on your marriage even when you know that divorce is not an option. Giving up can also mean not honoring and respecting your husband or giving him the cold shoulder. Giving up could mean spending more time investing in your children’s lives than you do in your husband. Giving up can look different for each woman and each marriage. But giving up is not an option.
It’s important to show your husband by your actions that he is more important to you than anything else. Do you call a family member or friend just to make sure that your husband’s decision is the right one? Do you spend more time on the computer or watching tv than you do with your husband? When he walks in the door each evening after working all day, what is the first thing out of your mouth?
Marriage is not 50/50. You need to give 100% to your marriage. As christians we are striving to become more like Jesus. Imagine what would have happened if He had said that He wouldn’t save the world through His death until people had met Him halfway. We wouldn’t have the most precious gift of all offered to us…eternal life.
Never tell your husband what to do. He is an adult, who can make decisions on his own. And never compare him to someone else’s husband. During the day, think good and honorable thoughts about your husband (let’s face it…when you are constantly remembering all of his “faults” you are not in a good frame of mind to show him your love when he gets home from work. :-)) Forgive him. Look cute and adorable for him. Don’t bring up past hurts. And finally, spend time with him every day. Just be together.
“You don’t have control over your husband, but you do have control over yourself. You can’t change him, but you can change yourself.” – Connie Hughes