When I read Trusting God by Jerry Bridges, I appreciated his wisdom and insight into some commonly asked questions, such as “Why do natural disasters occur?” and “Why do bad things happen to good people?”
As I read the book, it was all very theoretical for me. Of course, God is in control. And of course, He has the best interests of His followers in mind. But I had never encountered a deep heartbreaking pain before. I had experienced false accusations, losing friendships, and not knowing what the future held. And while each of those experiences have shaped me and helped me grow into the woman I am today, I never deeply questioned God’s sovereignty.
Mid-September things changed. An event occurred that made me question God’s goodness. I had a miscarriage at 16 weeks. I lost a baby that I loved…I was eagerly anticipating the arrival of another precious gift from God. And in the course of 13 hours, my baby was gone. My heart was broken.
Now, two months later, can I tell you why God allowed this to happen? No. Am I still saddened when I remember that I have a child that I will never be able to hold in my arms? Yes.
But one thing I do know…God has used this situation to teach me to trust in Him and to help me learn to turn to Him even during physical and emotional pain. I’ve also learned to treasure each moment I have with my two precious boys, because life is short.
And now, a verse that I would read and recite without giving it too much thought, is a comfort and a constant reassurance that even in the heartache of losing a precious baby, God is in control.
I may not know why, but I do know that my miscarriage did not happen by chance.
When doubts begin to flood my mind and depression threatens to overwhelm me, I’m going to cling tightly to this verse.
“And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28
(I was really blessed by this post, which I found one month to the day after our miscarriage.)