Ravi Zacharias on Marriage

“Having created Adam, God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone’ (Genesis 2:18), so He created a partner for him. Man’s aloneness was an impediment to his complete fulfillment. I find that to be thought provoking, because in a very real sense man was not alone. God was with him. Adam experienced companionship in his relationship with God. God walked and talked with him. Their communion was nestled in the beauty of a garden. Yet God said that man was ‘alone.’ Interestingly, He made this pronouncement before Adam’s disobedience ruptured his relationship with God. So when God says, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone,’ He must have had in a mind a kind of companionship uniquely human to help meet Adam’s human finited in a way that God designed and orchestrated. In other words, God has made each of us with certain needs that are an intrinsic part of being human-needs that only a fellow human being can meet.” I, Isaac, Take Thee, Rebekah by Ravi Zacharias page 13

I was so struck when I read this paragraph. It seems like the predominant theme of many books intended for single Christian women is to be content with where God has you. To take advantage of the single years for God’s glory.

I agree with those messages, but when every single book or blog article I read seemed to make the same point, I began to think that the strong desire I had to be married needed to be eradicated.

If I’m truly content with where God has me, I will no longer desire something He hasn’t given (i.e. marriage).

If I take advantage of my singleness, I will be completely fulfilled and thus no longer desire marriage.

It ended up being quite discouraging. At one point, it seemed like I was content with my life…but that desire for marriage was still there. I have taken advantage of my singleness (i.e. spending a semester overseas, pursuing a graduate degree), but the desire for marriage remained.

I had decided that simply having a desire did not mean that I wasn’t content enough. God declared marriage to be good. I desired a good thing. But still, it seemed to be out of sync with many other things I was reading.

When I read this quote from Zacharias, a man I greatly admire, I was struck by his point that it is indeed a desire from God. God created me with a desire for something only another human being could fulfill. It’s God-given.

Even when I am content, it’s ok when the desire for marriage still resides in my heart. It’s ok that while I’m pursuing opportunities I have while single that I still desire to find a husband.

Praise God for His design in marriage!

(This post is part of a weekly blog magazine entitled The Christian home.)

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3 Responses to Ravi Zacharias on Marriage

  1. Jamie says:

    ((((Hugs)))))) Melinda. I pray you find that special someone.

  2. Nathan says:

    God’s general plan is for the two to become one. A man or woman is made incomplete (on this earth), they are made to need each other.
    I believe the idea that a single person should be completely content in their single status stems from the root of feminism that has permeated our culture and even our churches and bible-teachings. I do not find it taught in the Bible.

    Being content for a season where God has placed you is a different matter. Adam had to name the animals, while he was single. Yet, at the end, he was still left wondering, with a feeling that he was missing something. Then God fixed it. 🙂

    That is why Singleness is a special gift given to some, but not most.

  3. bekahcubed says:

    I hear you. I’ve often felt the same thing, that somehow contentment meant that I was not to desire marriage. But even in my times of greatest contentment and joy as a single woman, when I knew that I was precisely in the center of God’s will for me, I still desired marriage. Nevertheless, not wanting to give the wrong impression (that I was not content or joyful in the life God had given me), I tended to squash that desire.

    Recently, I’ve been taking great comfort in David’s words in Psalm 38:9 “Lord, all my desire is before You; And my sighing is not hidden from You.” I’m very thankful that while I often feel that many in the Christian community would have me hide my desire, my sighing, God is perfectly capable of handling my desire. I don’t have to squelch it–I can lay my heart open before the Lord and let Him do with it (and me) as He pleases.

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