“Having created Adam, God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone’ (Genesis 2:18), so He created a partner for him. Man’s aloneness was an impediment to his complete fulfillment. I find that to be thought provoking, because in a very real sense man was not alone. God was with him. Adam experienced companionship in his relationship with God. God walked and talked with him. Their communion was nestled in the beauty of a garden. Yet God said that man was ‘alone.’ Interestingly, He made this pronouncement before Adam’s disobedience ruptured his relationship with God. So when God says, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone,’ He must have had in a mind a kind of companionship uniquely human to help meet Adam’s human finited in a way that God designed and orchestrated. In other words, God has made each of us with certain needs that are an intrinsic part of being human-needs that only a fellow human being can meet.” I, Isaac, Take Thee, Rebekah by Ravi Zacharias page 13
I was so struck when I read this paragraph. It seems like the predominant theme of many books intended for single Christian women is to be content with where God has you. To take advantage of the single years for God’s glory.
I agree with those messages, but when every single book or blog article I read seemed to make the same point, I began to think that the strong desire I had to be married needed to be eradicated.
If I’m truly content with where God has me, I will no longer desire something He hasn’t given (i.e. marriage).
If I take advantage of my singleness, I will be completely fulfilled and thus no longer desire marriage.
It ended up being quite discouraging. At one point, it seemed like I was content with my life…but that desire for marriage was still there. I have taken advantage of my singleness (i.e. spending a semester overseas, pursuing a graduate degree), but the desire for marriage remained.
I had decided that simply having a desire did not mean that I wasn’t content enough. God declared marriage to be good. I desired a good thing. But still, it seemed to be out of sync with many other things I was reading.
When I read this quote from Zacharias, a man I greatly admire, I was struck by his point that it is indeed a desire from God. God created me with a desire for something only another human being could fulfill. It’s God-given.
Even when I am content, it’s ok when the desire for marriage still resides in my heart. It’s ok that while I’m pursuing opportunities I have while single that I still desire to find a husband.
Praise God for His design in marriage!
(This post is part of a weekly blog magazine entitled The Christian home.)