Being a stay-at-home daughter in 21st century America isn’t the easiest occupation to have. As a young woman, in her early twenties, I encounter many people who ask me what I’m doing in life. When I begin explaining how I am studying-at-home, people get this strange, kind of glazed over look. Or when people find out I spend most of my time at home, they might encourage me to get out more…meet more people. Whenever I explain what my life is like, and that I have no greater aspiration than to be at home and to one day have a family of my own to love and take care of, I get a variety of responses…most of which are not very encouraging.
Very few people understand why I choose to spend so much of my time at home. I am very fortunate that many of the people at my church and that my family knows value stay-at-home mothers. But the concept of a stay-at-home daughter is not as easily embraced. I am rather an anomaly among my peers.
Most of the single young ladies I know are either attending college full-time (not through distance learning programs) or they have a job (or more than one job). When people ask me what I am doing in life, they typically expect some answer as to what I’m doing in school, what I plan to do after I finish college, or to hear about my job. When I tell people I don’t really know what I will be doing after college and that I don’t have a “real” job, they get this strange look on their faces. They don’t know what to say. They are kind enough not to say anything directly discouraging…but the strange look on their faces is enough to know they aren’t completely supportive of my choice.
There are times when I avoid conversations about what is going on in my life because I don’t feel like hearing well-meaning, but completely unhelpful advice.
But I realize that it honestly does not matter what other people think of the decisions I make in life. As of right now, I have made intentional decisions that keep me close to home. I am not completely opposed to having a job at some point…but that is not where I am now. That is perfectly ok. Right now, I love being at home. I enjoy my family. I enjoy my studies…even though it is a distance learning program, and not a “normal” college.
God has given me a deep desire of being at home, loving my family, and preparing for my own future family. When people ask me what I am doing in my life, I should boldly and kindly explain what I am doing and the decisions I am making.
When people look at me strangely or offer unhelpful advice (or even criticism!), I should be able just to smile at them. I believe I am honoring God with my choices…and that is enough for me.
~ Melinda ~